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Deeply Feeling

In this moment, things feel...

(unclear, shaky, murky, etc.)


and that's ok

because I have long history of situations

and experiences that have required perseverance

and blind faith to endure and move through.


I've watched the magic of Divine Trust

and have put into intentional practice

my focus and awareness of this Divinity

for an indeterminate amount of time.


Not because I want things to get easier

but to find the strength and wisdom in this very moment

no matter how difficult it feels.

And I deeply feel these difficult things.



In my body, emotions surface

in the form of tension

an ache in my bones

discomfort of all kinds.


Digestion slows, belly hurts,

joints are tender, body feels heavy.

Old scars tingle and feel numb

Mind moves quickly.

Searching for danger that isn't here.




This is what it feels like to be a survivor -

To be someone who has endured.

And to feel those

memories

trapped inside

my physical body.


Now, I practice noticing the sensations

I practice watching the thoughts.

When they are calm.

And when they are busy.

I listen to what the silent words of my body are saying.

My vascular system, she dances.



My nervous system, she tingles.

My heart, she sings.

When I notice myself having thoughts of indecisiveness or worry about a situation,

my practice is to pause.

To consider the guidance and advice of mentors, friends, writers...

To be honest about the human emotions showing up,

and considering what information they provide,

rather than becoming reactive.



To write those feelings down,

and watch as they begin to dissipate

in the mere honest acknowledgment of what they really are.

Where they come from.

Why they are surfacing now.


This practice is not easy,

but anyone can choose to do it.

Come back to recognition.

Back to Awareness.

Back to Connection.

Back to Purpose.


Turn in.

Be with

what is happening

for you

here and now.

This breath, this body, this moment.

(where is there room to soften the body? the breath? the mind?)

(what can you honestly acknowledge about what you are feeling right now?)

(what is your body trying to tell you?)


Turn in.

Deeper now.

Beyond the body.



Beyond the breath.

Beneath the surface.

Keep going.

New moment.

New now.

Now.

Now....



Wash, Rinse, Repeat.


With Love,

Karen



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